The Peach Incident

A common tale told by low ranking Spagistany soldiers and spread by the ministry of truth:

The Peach Incident

A tale of death and brotherly betrayal

On the dreary day of September 1st, a schism most foul took hold of the great Spagistany first infantry company. It first started with the yearly fruit ration arriving from glorious Chak Chak, the home of our great leader Colonel Spag. As Colour Corporal Scott stuck his fingers into the mouldy paper bag, he grab a peach of questionable quality, but, being a NCO, he devoured it as if it were a tobacco of superlative class. As Scott retreated from the line of fruit seekers, he checked the status of his weapons (as men of his station should every 15 minutes), but alas, in his haste, he smeared a spatter of peach residue upon the trigger of his weapon. In this careless action, A single bullet was produced from his gun, striking none other than Platoon Medic J. Booker in the thigh. With a grimace of pain and anger, Booker took out his standard issue commissar pistol and dropped Scott to the floor with a quick succession of Dakka, screaming “You bloody smooth crayon eater!” whilst doing so. With this a great panic of newly trained boots began stampeding through the airfield, like a herd of smooth brained sheep running from the butchers knife. In this panic, Booker and many other brave Spagistany troops were trampled to death (as well as the fruit ration); from this, we can learn to keep the bloody weapons on your back at the airfield, lest we lose another fruit ration (and less importantly, lives).